


and you're sorry, and i'm sorry, and we are saying goodbye together

by hazelspacecadet



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Gay disaster Amity, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbianism, Luz has Trauma, Repressed Crush, edric is a dick kinda, lol gay people, post s1 brainrot, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelspacecadet/pseuds/hazelspacecadet
Summary: amity worries about luz's school absence in the aftermath of eda's curse taking hold. luz isn't quite prepared for a visitor.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 1
Kudos: 139





	and you're sorry, and i'm sorry, and we are saying goodbye together

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout lorelei and june  
> this takes place between ep18 and ep19 because i want amity to be involved

“Why can’t I go see Luz?”

“We’ve had this conversation before, young lady. Luz is not someone we want you in contact with so frequently. And besides, your leg is still healing.”

“Because you both refused to get it healed with magic!” Amity is yelling now, becoming more incensed by her parents. They both stare back blankly, as if for the thousandth time. 

“Look, that kind of magic is unsafe and demeaning. Those healers are all ruffians who live out in the woods and likely practice all sorts of wild magic, and we can’t afford to make those kinds of connections.”

“Ahh! You two are always like this. You never care about your actual children so long as your precious  _ status  _ is intact.”

“Don’t you dare speak to us in that tone. Go to your room.” Amity opens her mouth to retort, decides she would only exasperate her father further, and turns with a huff. She makes the walk up the spiral staircase long and quiet, trying desperately to control the loud and “uncouth” reactions these arguments always bring out in her. This one is a little different though. She had never quite said those last words out loud before, and were it not for the anger and the following punishment she would be feeling almost good about it. She’s nearly at the safety of her partially open door. Amity hangs her head low, controlling her expression and keeping her mouth pursed shut, only looking up to meet with surprise the smirking faces of her siblings. 

“Woah! Do you guys want to announce your presence next time?”

“Hey sis, how are mom and pops?”

“Ughhhh. If you’re here to mock me, just get it all out of your system quickly.”

“Well, actually, we heard what you said.” Edric’s expression shifts, and Amity can’t quite recognise it.

“Yeah, that was… really brave, and honest. We wanna help you see Luz.” Emira has put on the same expression as her twin, and places a careful hand on Amity’s shoulder. “It’s pretty obvious you like her, a lot.”

“Pffffft! No it’s not.”

“Look, Amity, no judgement or mockery here. For once. We think it’s cute!”

“Yea, what kind of siblings would we be if we didn’t help out our little Mittens with her schoolgirl crush?”

“Hey, Edric! No mocking, remember. We talked about this.”

“I can’t even say Mittens?”

“Well, Amity. Does it really bother you?”

“It’s… whatever. Just don’t call me that in front of Luz, or I’ll kill you both. Also, you guys are being  _ super  _ considerate and nice right now and I don’t know if it’s some sort of mind control spell, or a  _ really  _ elaborate prank, but it’s definitely  _ weird _ .” Edric thankfully returns to his familiar smirk, and drags Amity by the arm towards an open window at the end of the upstairs corridor. The ornate glass and frame have been displaced to reveal a wide morning sky, and resting against the wall is an ancient looking staff. 

“Uhhhh… where did you guys get a staff?”

“Oh, it was lying around in the attic somewhere. Must be dad’s old one.”

“Edric, didn’t he say he stopped using it because it was ‘dangerous and unreliable’?” 

“Jeez, Mittens, I didn’t know you would be such a scaredy-cat. Emira, we got this, right?”

“Well, you’re flying her there. I’m staying behind to cover.”

“Can’t it be the other way round? You know, I’m just more comfortable with Emira flying and-”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mittens.” Edric’s expression has shifted again, this time to something Amity definitely recognises as hurt.

“Nope, no, you know what, Edric can fly me there, that’s fine. It’s only a broken leg, I’ll be fine…”

* * *

“THIS IS NOT FINE!” Amity yells through the searing wind as Edric bombs, spirals and twists towards the owl house. She grips onto the sides of his shirt, knuckles white and arms trembling. Insects keep flying past and sometimes into her face, the noise and occasional shriek of joy or terror from Edric makes her jump and yell, and really the only saving grace is that her leg has remained undamaged by the ordeal. Oh, and her hair has come down. Forget trying to look presentable for her crush, she grumbles quietly as they touch down, Edric’s hair pushed back into a giant, forehead-revealing spike. If she weren’t so shaken and disoriented herself, she might have found it hilarious. 

They make their way quietly towards the front door, Edric shooting his sister a warm smile of encouragement that she only catches halfway through restraining her panic. “I know you haven’t seen her since the grudgby match, but it’s gonna be ok. You two get on great, and she was probably just busy.”

“But...what if she hates me.”

“Hey, Amity, stay with me, ok? You’re gonna be fine. Luz cares about you a lot, we all know that. You can trust her, right?”

“Trust what?”

“Trust that she cares. That her care can overcome whatever else you might be feeling right now.” Amity looks up at Edric’s still-warm smile, and does her best to respond in kind. It doesn’t feel at all genuine, but the swirling in her gut seems to have abated, at least for now. 

* * *

Knock knock. 

Luz knows it’s not Eda, it can’t be, but she perks up in a sudden mixture of relief and anxiety regardless. She hates herself for it. 

Knock knock.

It would be good common courtesy to answer the door, to let whoever in and interact like a person should. 

“Uh, Luz?”

The sweetest, smallest voice comes echoing through the house. She must have left a window open. 

“I just wanted to, uh, say hi. You weren’t at school last week. I really… missed you.”

Luz only just realises that the gentle voice belongs to Amity. Her head rushes with a thousand emotions, and she tries to stand only to find her legs will barely hold and her hands are gripped tight, knuckles white, on the rim of the nest. “Amity,” she croaks out. “Give me just one second.”

“Are you ok, Luz?”

“I’m fine. Just uh- Hooty, let her in for me.” He obliges, gently and quietly, allowing Luz to slowly descend the stairs as Amity struggles her way onto the living room couch, staring at Luz with bright, endless eyes. 

“Luz you look-” 

Amity is silenced by a painfully unstable expression on Luz’s face as she crosses the living room, and before she knows it she is wrapped up in a desperate embrace. 

“She’s gone, Amity! Eda’s gone. I just… I couldn’t do anything.” There are tears pouring onto Amity’s shirt. She wouldn’t mind, if it wasn’t Luz. If it was anyone but her in so much pain. She keeps holding on, and there is no bone in Amity’s body that wants to blame Luz any more. 

“I- uh-” Amity panics for only a moment, notices the smiley-faced signatures of Emira and Edric on her cast, and finds a way to steel herself. ”I can’t imagine how you feel right now, Luz. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Can we just… sit here? For a while. I won’t cry into you anymore if you don’t want me to. But please stay.” Amity nods and tries not to look broken and elated all at once. 

So they stay, folded together against the couch, and Luz thinks about how much better the sobbing and shaking feels with someone else’s arms around you, and Amity tries not to blush when she smiles at Luz, but never stops smiling because it’s that or crying, and Luz needs her. The feeling is weird, but comforting. 

A little while later, the room and their embrace still undisturbed, still messy, Luz gently releases some of her hold, which Amity could barely tell was so tight, and smiles at her, softly. Amity goes bright red, and Luz laughs, again, softer than usual. “I think you really get me, Amity Blight,” she says, her face close and eyes bright and watery. 

“G-get you? What- what does  _ that  _ mean?”

“It’s like… you seem to know all the little things that most people don’t notice or care about with me. People would always notice the weird stuff I would do, but- I think you just like me for me.”

“Of course I do. It’s easy to care about you, Luz.” And this time, Amity is not the one blushing. Because she meant those words, and she’s not sure how she found the courage to mean them. “If- if that’s ok. I- uh- do you want me to care about you?” Luz just giggles as if to say, there’s the Amity I know. And Amity pushes through the spiralling thoughts in her head, and focuses on the tired lines in Luz’s face, and smiles back. 

“I do. It’s nice, even if you do go all red and flustered a lot.” Luz can’t help but keep smiling, worming her way closer towards Amity’s now familiar arms, before catching herself. “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, you probably came here wanting me to be all fun Luz and then you had to deal with… this mess-”

“It’s ok, Luz. I’ll stay if you want, or I’ll go. It’s whatever you want.”

“We could… uh- oh god, what do normal people do? Like, when they hang out with… friends.” Amity can see the worry on Luz’s face, and once again concentrates her emotions. 

“How about we just sit and talk? Get your mind off things.”

“That sounds nice, actually. What do you want to talk about?” And Amity notices the comforted expression now formed on Luz’s face, a little unstable, and fills with enough confidence to nearly let her words fall out. But her first instinct is to be angry about the altercation with her parents earlier in the morning, and that would be weak, and improper, right? 

“You ok there Amity?” comes a voice more delicate than she can bear to hear. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. Tell me about your day! Or, uh, you might not want to. And, uh, that’s ok too!”

“You looked like you were gonna say something, and then you caught yourself.” Luz is frowning. Amity has to remind herself the girl opposite her, still far too close, is not angry. She never would be. The signature on her cast reassures the corners of her vision and she tries again. 

“Oh, yea. I had an argument with my parents today, actually, about seeing you, and- and I just wanted them to not care, y’know? To let me do what I want!”

“You are talking to the right person, Amity. Back at home I was the  _ king  _ of disobeying my parents, and even though I knew they both cared, it was hard when they just wanted me to follow in their footsteps.” Luz looks proud and sad all at once, the words pouring from her mouth. 

“They’re still so obsessed with status and what other people think about our family. It’s absurd!”

“Well… I don’t know anything about  _ that _ , but it can’t be easy. Hey, you should try being more like Edric and Emira, you know, an  _ edgy  _ and _ rebellious  _ type!”

“What, would you find that more attractive or something,” Amity flirts, only too late realising that  _ she just flirted with Luz and oh god what if she hates it what if she- _

“Amity, did you just- _ flirt with me _ ?!” Amity yelps out as many phrases of denial as she can remember, her face a searing red, only noticing barely through a haze of embarrassment that Luz is bright red too. Amity defaults to wheeling her body away, avoiding the closeness that was already overwhelming parts of her brain, but Luz takes her hands all too gently and pulls them closer together. 

“I- uh- what are you doing Luz?”

“Well, you seemed to like being close. And- and I did too. But you always seem to move away when you get all red and flustered. I just- was that ok?” And everything she says is true, and Amity can’t believe that someone would know her as well as this, and that it wouldn’t be hard at all. 

“It was ok. Better than, in fact.”

“Phew. I don’t want to go back to how it was when we first met. Sheesh.” Luz is joking, her voice light and shaky, but there is truth in her words. 

“Me neither.” Amity’s voice is shaky too, but sincere. Their eyes meet, Amity’s intact leg pressed against Luz’s, their body heat reaching out and colliding. 

“Amity, I don’t-”

“No, it’s ok. This isn’t what friends do, is it?” Amity pulls herself inwards, the couch feeling all too big again. 

“It’s not that, I know we aren’t ‘just friends’. I said that because I was scared but- but I can’t do this. Not right now. You understand, right?” 

“Yes, yes I really do. I know how important Eda was to you,” and Amity hates that when she says that name Luz starts to crack and her eyes go damp, hates that she blames herself for it, “but I can be sad too. Just for now.”

“That’s- that’s fine too. And, for what it’s worth, I shouldn’t have pulled you back in just now.”

“I didn’t mind. I don’t, really.” The room is silent and it’s all too harsh and sudden. “I’m just gonna- I’ll go. Thank you, Luz.” So she picks up her crutches, and stares for too long, and walks towards the door slower than she might need to, and Luz pretends not to notice. 

“Wait.” Amity turns, quicker than she should. “If you can’t stay because I can’t… be what you want, then- I understand.” Luz’s words are considered, her face half screwed up. “But being in this house is too lonely and you… make it a little less dark.” 

They sit and talk for two more hours, and at some point a small and tired looking King comes to join them, quietly, happily. 

Amity had not considered how to get home, and she can’t get ahold of Edric on her scroll. Luz’s face contorts and then snaps into a smile with only the faintest hint of blank sadness in time with her thoughts. She runs to the attic, averts her eyes from the nest and the marks her grip made, and grabs Eda’s staff. 

The flight back is calm. Amity holds tightly onto Luz, not out of fear, because Luz never goes fast enough to pick up any wind. Luz doesn’t know where Amity’s house is, so Amity directs her with a sweet smile. Luz turns and sees the bright face of her friend backed against an infinite auburn sky and nearly cries, while Amity notices both the welling tears and warm, stunningly genuine expression facing hers. And then it ends. 

For Amity, basking by the glow of her bedroom window, it never really does. 

For Luz, shaking and sobbing herself to sleep in the nest, it comes in flashes, enough to keep her eyes closed. She wakes up early, and finds the house is a little less dark. 


End file.
